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Building Grit in Children: 5 Common Parenting Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Published: Tuesday, March 21, 2023

Grit is a crucial characteristic that enables individuals to persevere through challenging situations, pursue long-term goals, and ultimately succeed in life. As a parent, you want to instill this quality in your child, but it’s not always easy to know the best way to do it. In this blog post, we’ll explore the six common mistakes parents make when helping their children build grit and what they should do instead.

Mistake #1: Shielding your child from failure

One of the most significant mistakes parents make when trying to build grit in their children is shielding them from failure. While it’s natural to want to protect your child from disappointment and frustration, it’s essential to recognize that failure is a critical part of the learning process. Shielding your child from failure can lead to a fear of failure and an inability to persevere through challenges.

What you should do instead: Encourage your child to take risks and try new things, even if they may not succeed. Help them understand that failure is a natural part of the learning process and that it’s okay to make mistakes. Provide them with support and guidance, but allow them to experience failure and learn from their mistakes.

Mistake #2: Over-praising your child

Another mistake parents make is over-praising their child. While it’s important to provide positive reinforcement and praise your child for their accomplishments, over-praising can be counterproductive. When you constantly praise your child, they may develop a fixed mindset and believe that their success is solely based on their abilities, rather than their effort.

What you should do instead: Focus on praising your child’s effort, perseverance, and resilience. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart,” say, “I’m proud of how hard you worked on that project.” This type of praise emphasizes the importance of effort and hard work, rather than innate abilities.

Mistake #3: Being too hands-on

Parents often want to help their children with everything, from homework to extracurricular activities. While it’s important to be involved in your child’s life, being too hands-on can hinder their development of grit. When parents do everything for their children, they don’t learn how to take responsibility for their actions, make their own decisions, and persevere through challenges.

What you should do instead: Give your child space to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their actions. Encourage them to solve problems on their own, and be there to provide guidance and support when needed. This type of independence fosters resilience and encourages your child to persevere through challenges.

Mistake #4: Focusing too much on academic success

While academic success is important, it’s not the only measure of success in life. Parents who focus too much on academic success can put undue pressure on their children, leading to a fear of failure and a lack of resilience.

What you should do instead: Encourage your child to pursue their interests and passions, whether they are academic or not. Celebrate their achievements in all areas of life, from sports to music to community service. This type of well-roundedness fosters resilience and encourages your child to pursue long-term goals in all areas of life.

Mistake #5: Not allowing your child to experience discomfort

Parents who constantly try to protect their child from discomfort or negative emotions can hinder their development of grit. When children are not allowed to experience discomfort, they don’t learn how to cope with difficult situations, leading to a lack of resilience.

What you should do instead: Allow your child to experience discomfort and negative emotions, such as frustration and disappointment. Help them understand that these emotions are a natural part of life and that it’s okay to feel them. Provide them with tools and strategies for coping with difficult situations, such as deep breathing

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